Your relationship is starting to unravel.
You’re having the same arguments over and over.
You wonder what happened to the person you fell in love with. Where did he or she go?
You find yourself thinking, “If only he/she would change…”
Caught in a repetitive cycle of blame and shame, you throw insults and injuries back and forth like a hot potato. Or even worse, you’ve both withdrawn into steely silence.
Your love for each other feels more like an idea or a memory than a felt experience. You despair at ever being able to trust each other again.
My heart goes out to you. This is so painful. I’m sure you both began your relationship with high hopes and dreams that seem smashed on the rocks of reality right now.
We all want to love and be loved. It’s probably the deepest longing of our hearts. It was this longing that brought you together and brings you to considering therapy in this moment.
You question if you’ll ever be able to get the love and trust back.
I’m here to tell you YES. You can. It is possible to build a bridge of trust again that you can cross to rediscover each other.
No matter what has happened between you, these hurts can be healed and repairs made when there is the desire and motivation to change. New ways of relating safely can be forged; and love and intimacy restored, strengthened, and deepened.
Don’t wait. Call now for a free 15-minute phone consultation:505-577-4607
It’s important to address these relationship problems before they become deeply ingrained habits of interaction. It’s never too late; but the earlier you catch and stop unhealthy and painful patterns, the easier it is to change them.
The longer you wait, the harder it is to find your way back to each other. You wouldn’t wait until your car fell apart on the freeway to get it fixed; at the first sign of trouble you would take it to your mechanic. Don’t you owe the same kind of care to your relationship? And to your children if you have any? They are learning about intimate relationships by watching the two of you. Give them the best start you can by getting help for you and your partner/spouse as soon as possible.
Don’t become one of these couples!
Jon Gottman, well-known psychologist and relationship researcher, has found that unhappy couples fall into what he calls “nasty-nasty interactions” more easily and more often than happy couples and have a more difficult time getting out of them. He also found that these couples wait six years from the first sign of trouble to seek help. During those six years, they are digging the ruts that make it so difficult for them later to find their love again. (Gottman, John, The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples, W.W.W.Norton & Co., 2011)
Don’t let little misunderstandings and moments of emotional mis-attunements accumulate and build into deep resentments, abandonments, and betrayals. Nip the bud of relationship distress before it grows into a prickly thistle weed patch that keeps you both hurt and angry, distant and apart.
I can help you.
My job as a couple’s therapist is to help you climb out of the ravine of conflict and get back on the path of love.
Love is the glue that holds relationships together and, when it’s flowing, brings out the best in you.
The difficulties in relationships invariably have their origins in attachment dynamics learned in our families as children. Together we will address these patterns based on how they show up in your relationship today.